Intimidated By Teachers...I Know That Sounds Crazy

I absolutely hate visiting my children’s school. The phone calls and voice messages from their teacher makes my heart race, causing me to have a panic attack.

Understandably, I am my child’s advocate and of course, I should be an active participant in their educational development. But the truth of the matter is I don’t know how to interact with their teachers or even my instructors.

I spend days obsessing and panicking every time I have to attend a Parent Teacher Conference. What questions should I ask? How do I come across as intelligent? Will they think I am a bad mom?

I guess the problem stems from me dropping out of high school and never feeling comfortable in the public school environment. I was always the ugly fat girl who never had friends. The girl whose 5th grade teacher announced to the class that she would buy me a pair of eyeglasses because my parents couldn’t or wouldn’t buy them. I remember feeling so humiliated.

Not to mention, I was the girl who told her 1st grade teacher that my mother was dead and my father was a doctor, firefighter, and policeman. When in fact my alcoholic mother was living and beating the crap out me every day and my dad was a janitor.

While my 1st grade teacher might NOT believed the resume I made up about my dad, she seem to believed my mom was dead. I recall her being nicer to me after I told her that my mom had died. In fact, this was the first time I can recall someone being nice to me and making me feel special. Te special feeling only lasted briefly because my teacher called my house to speak to my father and my drunk mother answered the phone.

Thank God the teacher didn’t tell her what I said. However, when I went back to school my teacher was noticeably disappointed that I had lied to her. How could my 6 year old vocabulary level explain to her that my mother was an abusive drunk. I couldn’t find the right words to convey that message so the remaining school year was spent with the teacher avoiding me.

Yes, I have deep issues about school. However, I am now an adult with over 100 college credits. Yet I still have anxiety attacks when I have to talk to kids teachers and my college instructors. I can never find the right words or questions. Which is the main reason I prefer online classes.

So for any educators who may stumble upon this post, please refrain from thinking that parents who don't attend meetings on a regular basis, don't care about their child’s progress. Not true.

You simply may be working with a parent- like me, who is totally intimidated by you.

Anna Karryn




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Anna Karryn

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